In the name of green
by pleasingXapparel
Summary: "Don't you know anything, human?" "What are you talking about, Zim?" "The reason I left Earth was because I found out the truth." "The truth of what?" "Pitiful human, well you wouldn't be all human would you, seeing as we're brothers." R
1. Chapter 1

In the name of Green

Chapter one

**Disclaimer: I do not own IZ sadly. But I do own Nyxa. **

**Enjoy. **

"So, Dib, how has your day been so far?" The therapist asked as soon as Dib was settles on the sofa-thing.

Dib shrugged. He hated these morning therapy session, and he made it quite clear too. But did anyone listen? _Noooo. _When he had been called down to the cheery, stupid vice-principal's office three weeks ago he thought he'd done something wrong and get suspended. Huh. He would much rather have the damn suspension over these ridiculous meetings.

"Uh-huh." commented the greasy-haired therapist, Mr. Dweeb (seriously that was his name). Dib despised the man for many reasons. One, he dressed like it was the 1980s with the shirts that dipped so low Dib could see his gray chest hair poking out (shivers) and, dare he say it, bright orange leggings that were so tight, Dib would put them under the spandex category. At least, that was his outfit today. Dib shuddered and fought back the rancid bile that threatened to overflow.

"…any trouble?" Dib shook his head, trying desperately to erase the images of Mr. Dweeb. "I'm sorry, what?"

Mr. Dweeb looked at his clipboard. "I asked if you were having any trouble lately?"

Well, just the fact that Zim's dog/robot Gir kept annoying the crap out of him, Zim was still embarrassing him at school, Zim kept insisting he was human, Dib kept insisting he was an alien, they fought, and CeCe Garcia would still not except the fact that he had a crush on her. "No, sir." Dib responded.

They sat there for a few minutes in silence. Then Dweeb said, "So, how is this Zim person doing?"

"Zim is Zim." Dib muttered.

"And how do you feel about that?"

Dib glared at Dweeb. "I don't know. Angry, I guess?"

"Why?"

"I don't know!"

"And how do you feel about not knowing?"

"What?"

"And how do you feel about that?"

Dib looked at the therapist, confused. _Why the hell did this guy keep asking 'And how do you feel about that'? Probably to just keep the conversation so he can get his damn money._

"Dib."

Dib scowled. "WHAT?"

"You did not answer my question."

"ARG!"

"Do we be pirates, lad?"

"What?"

"AHOY MATEY!"

"Right…" Dib started scooting to the edge of the couch.

Dweeb looked joyful. "I been always wantin to sail the seven seas, my boy. I've always wanted to steal some booty!"

_Didn't he already do that with his 13 divorced wives and his current girlfriend? _Dib wondered.

"Ah, indeed, lad. Plunderin for gold and silvers!" Dweeb looked lost in thought.

"Okaaaaay….well, I'm just gonna-" Dib sprang to his feet and raced out of the room leaving Mr. Dweeb behind with his weird, messed up fantasies.

Dib trudged through the door of his house and saw Gaz sitting on the sofa playing her Game Slave.

"Zim called." She shouted from where she was.

"What?"

"Well, actually the green idiot stopped by to tell you that he wanted to talk."

"…Odd."

"Well, what he really said was that he had something REALLY important to tell you."

"And what was that?"

Gaz paused her game and looked up. Her eyes were actually open and her face was serious as she murmured, "He said he's leaving."

R&R


	2. Don't Follow

Chapter two

Dib pounded on the door of the creepy pink house. He's gotten used to the gnomes that guarded it but they still sent shivers down his spine.

"ZIM! OPEN THE DOOR!" Dib hollered.

It swung open to reveal Zim's robot Gir who looked sad. His blue eyes filled with tears. "Big-head boy!" he started sniffling.

Dib was shocked. "What's wrong, Gir?"

Gir took his hand and lead him to the couch in front of the ginormas television. Dib sat on the very edge, feeling out of place in the disturbing house. "What's wrong Gir?" he repeated.

Gir was quiet. Then he suddenly let loose a screaming, piercing wail so loud that Dib had to cover his ears.

"MASTAH SAY WE HAVE TO LEAVE! GIR DOESN'T WANNA LEAVE YOU AND GAZZY!" Gir screamed.

"Gir! SHUT UP!" Computer's voice came on.

"Computer?" Dib called over the still screaming Gir.

"Do you know of any others who can talk?" Computer sounded, like always, bored.

"What is going on?" Dib yelled.

"Zim has to explain." And then it was gone.

Dib looked at Gir who was pounding his fist on the floor and having a temper tantrum. "Gir…."

Gir continued crying.

"Gir."

Nothing.

"GIR!"

Gir stopped his ridiculous crying and looked at Dib with his big light blue eyes. "Yeees?"

"Can you tell me where Zim is?"

Gir sniffed and pointed to the toilet that led to Zim's lab. Dib nodded and went over to it, stepping inside. Instantly he felt himself going down…down…down…and then halting. Dib jolted at the abruptness of the stop and walked down the creepy hallways to Zim's lab. When it opened up into a big open space. He saw Zim typing frantically onto a keyboard and words popping up onto a humongous screen. Dib couldn't read it because the words were in the Irken language.

Zim had grown taller since Dib was a kid. Not as tall as a human, but tall enough that people didn't question his size as much anymore. Dib hated him for growing taller. Perhaps, if Zim hadn't, then those blind stupid people would once and for all see that he was, indeed, an alien.

"My tallest must've known about this. Why else would they not have acted surprised when I told them what I had found? How dare they kept this knowledge from the Almighty ZIM! I must return to Irk to find out once and for all if what I uncovered is true." Zim muttered to himself.

Dib silently tiptoed closer.

Zim didn't seem to notice. "I must contact them to tell them I am coming home. I WILL get the truth out of them. I AM ZIM!"

"So, why are you going back to Irk?" Dib questioned out loud.

Zim jumped and whirled around. "GAH! DIB-STINK WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BASE?"

"I came to see why you're leaving. Gaz told me you had stopped by." Dib answered.

Zim's eyes darted back and forth. "Um…well, yes, Zim is leaving. If that is all Dib-thing then I shall be getting back to some very important work."

Dib raised an eyebrow. "You mean like talking to yourself?"

"Yes." Zim replied and turned back to the computer and resumed his typing.

Dib tapped him on the shoulder.

Zim whipped his head around to face Dib. "What now, Dib?"

"Why are you leaving?" Dib repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.

Zim scowled. "Earthling, Zim does not have time for these petty conversations! I need to prepare to leave! Now, why don't you frolic away to your stupid house and just leave me be!"

"You're avoiding the question." Dib pointed out.

"WHY DO YOU CARE IF I LEAVE? ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU'VE WANTED SINCE…. my, it's been quite a while, hasn't it?" Zim looked thoughtful.

Dib waved his hand in front of Zim's face. "Hello? Earth to Zim?"

Zim blinked and looked at Dib. "Why are you saying such nonsense? What does this Earth to Zim mean? Hmmmmm? Are you saying you wish for Zim to stay?" he raised an imaginary eyebrow, making one eye larger then the other.

"What?" Dib spluttered. "No! Of course I don't want you to stay! In fact, I don't know why I came down here at all! I'm leaving!"

"Okay then. Now that this has accomplished absolutely NOTHING, be gone with you Dib." Zim then turned his back to Dib. After a minute of not doing anything, Zim cocked his head slightly. "Human, why is it that Zim has not heard your stomping feetsteps, of whatever they are called? You know the way out."

_What was he still doing here?_ Dib started back to the hallway that led to the elevator when Zim's voice froze him in his tracks.

"Oh, and Dib?" Zim called.

"What?" Dib inquired, glancing back over his shoulder.

Zim wasn't looking at him but Dib noticed how his tiny frame was slumped against the table and that his hands were shaking. "Do not follow me."

"Huh?"

Zim glared at him and Dib noticed how his ruby eyes were glistening. Weird. "I am warning you not to follow me. I know you might try, but I beg of you not to."

Dib was confused. "Okay…. I wasn't going to though." Well, that wasn't the truth but whatever.

Zim stared at him until Dib fidgeted under his piercing gaze. "I mean it. Do not follow Zim. The consequences will be terrible."

"Why, what would happen?"

"Let's just say that you may never return to protect you planet from any other threats. But if you do return to Earth, you will be scarred so badly that this humans will lock you up in that loony bin thing."

"You mean an asylum?" Dib whispered.

Zim nodded. "I am warning you for your own good, human. Follow me, or don't, I don't care. But you now know what you face if you hide in my ship. Goodbye." Then, Zim returned to his work.

Dib stood there, paralyzed. He tried to make his limbs function but he couldn't. Finally, he was able to lift one heavy leg and set it down; then the other and the other until he found himself running towards the elevator and out of the pink house.

Back in the base, Zim ceased his typing and stared at the screen. "Do not follow, Dib." He whispered to himself. "Oh please do not follow."


	3. Pirates and sneaking

Chapter three

Gaz didn't even so much as glance up when Dib stormed into the house. "What's got your panties in a twist?" she said in her monotone voice.

Dib glared at her. "Zim is moving away!"

Gaz glanced up at her brother and back down at her game before her character died. "Sounds like you're going to miss him."

Gaz didn't have to look up to feel her brother's stare. She smirked as he stammered, trying to form a sentence to defend himself.

"I-I no, you, you don't, I-I really-"

"That's what I thought."

"ARG!" Dib growled.

"Do we be pirates again, lad?" Mr. Dweeb popped up out of nowhere wearing an eye patch, a stripped t-shirt, boots, a hat, and carrying a sword.

Gaz and Dib jumped and Dib maybe, semi peed his pants. "Mr. Dweeb? What are you doing here?"

"Aye, the one and only!" Mr. Dweeb swept past him and into the kitchen.

Gaz paused her game and stared at the spot where Mr. Dweeb had vanished around the corner. "Who the hell was that?"

Dib shook his head. "My therapist."

"Ah, yes, I forgot you needed the…_extra _help." Gaz commented snidely.

Dib ignored her and climbed the stairs to his room. He slammed the door shut and flopped onto his bed. "Gotta think, gotta think."

Wait. WHY did he have to think? Zim was leaving. That had been Dib's wish for…forever. Well, actually his wish was to expose Zim to the world and be the greatest paranormal investigator on the planet and stop any other things that posed a threat to society. Zim leaving is what made all those things vanish. Dib had to make sure Zim returned to Earth so he could expose him.

He couldn't tell Zim NOT to go without explaining why, he couldn't stop the alien from leaving, Zim had no objects sacred to him that he could use as blackmail except for maybe Gir but he didn't really want to steal the robot for Dib feared that he might go quite deaf in the first hour. So that left only one other option: he had to sneak onto the damn ship.

Granted, Zim had warned him what would happen but he didn't think Zim had meant any of it. Skool didn't matter because they didn't learn anything important and plus nobody would care if he left for a few days…or weeks. His dad was hardly ever home so that was fine. All that was left was Gaz. Dib didn't think that Gaz would care where the hell he was. He thought she'd be happy if he actually never returned.

Now posed the tough part: sneaking on the ship.

Dib threw some clothes in a duffel bag, grabbed his camera (just in case Zim didn't return, he would have some evidence. If he himself returned), and then tiptoed down the stairs and into the kitchen. Of course, Dib forgot that one very disturbed pirate was eating a bologna sandwich at the table.

"AHHHH!" Dib squealed as Mr. Dweeb came into view.

Mr. Dweeb turned his head and Dib noticed how he had a mustache of mustard and had a beard of ketchup.

"AHHHH!" Mr. Dweeb screamed back, giving Dib a disgusting view of the half-chewed bread, cheese, and bologna in his mouth.

"You scared me!" Dib cried.

Gaz stuck her head in through the door. "_If _you two girlies are done, I am going to watch TV so shut up." She eyed Dib's bag. "Going somewhere, Dib?"

He gulped. "Yeah…"

Gaz sneered, "Well, after Zim catches you sneak unsuccessfully onto his ship, tell him that I told you to tell him that you should stay on whatever planet you go to. Don't come back, okay?"

Dib gaped at his sister as she whirled around and stomped into the living room and heard the TV come on. "Love you too." He muttered.

Mr. Dweeb looked at him and smiled. "I kinda like you too, boy!"

Dib smiled weakly and hurried out of the room and rushed out the door, down the street to Zim's house.

Sorry if this chapter was kind of short, but I'll start typing the next one soon! R&R! and thanks to all of you who reviewed.


	4. Grrr

Chapter four

Once again, thanks to all of you who have reviewed! Now, I know you all are expecting Dib to sneak onto the ship, no? Well…you're half right. Enjoy.

"GIR! HURRY UP, WE HAVE TO LEAVE SOON!" Zim yelled as he prepared the ship for leaving.

Gir appeared struggling to carry a toaster and 50 containers of waffle batter. "Ready, mastah!"

Zim's eye twitched. "Gir…why do you have a toaster and all the waffle mix stuff? We are going back to Irk and we will be in the spaceship for 6 months. SIX! Now, put that human food away!"

"Okie Dokie!" Gir cried happily and piled all of it into his head. He giggled as Zim narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything.

Zim looked around for any signs of the Dib and when he saw that all was clear he hurriedly pushed Gir inside the ship and climbed in after. Gir gazed around, his eye shining. He squealed and started pushing all the buttons.

"Gir! STOP! We've been over this! I drive and push the buttons and you just sit there and do nothing. Okay?" Zim instructed.

As usual, Gir ignored him. "Grrr…." Zim growled.

"Yessss?" Gir craned his head back to look at Zim.

Zim looked perplexed. "What?"

Gir blinked. "You said Grrr. And I say Yessss?"

Zim blinked back. "No, I didn't say grrr, Gir."

Gir started sniffling. "Mastah don't like my name!" he started screaming and banging his head on the dashboard.

Zim face palmed. Just once, he would've liked to ride in his spaceship and not have to deal with Gir. Closing the door behind him, Zim made his way to the front of the ship and started pressing the correct buttons. He grabbed the steering wheel thing-a-magig and felt the ship vibrate.

"WEEEEEEE!" Gir screamed, forgetting his tears.

The ship was about to take off…it was vibrating more and more…and then!

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"What happened, Mastah?" Gir asked. "Wes was all going VROOM, VROOM but then wes stopped."

Zim glared at the fuel tank.

"Gir, did you bother to fill up the gas tank?"

Gir smiled. "Yep! It was empty and it must've been hungry so I put some cupcakes in it!"

Zim stared at Gir ho was looking proud of himself. "Gir. It is called a GAS tank for a reason. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PUT GAS IN THERE NOT CUPCAKES! HENCE THE WORD GAS!"

Gir sniffed. "Sorry mastah."

Zim rubbed his face with both hands. "Gir, go fill the tank up with GAS okay?"

Gir's eyes flashed red and he saluted. "Yes, Sir!" his eyes turned blue again. "Gas sounds like Gaz…. GAZZZZZZZY! WEEEEEEE!" his feet turned into rockets and he started flying everywhere.

"Oh, forget it." Zim muttered and went to the back of the ship. He turned the handle and pulled the door back.

"AHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHH!" Dib yelled.

"DIB-STINK WHAT IN THE NAME OF IRK AE YOU DOING IN MY SHIP?" Zim hollered.

Dib was scrunched up on a pile of cupcakes and stuffing them into his mouth. "Uh….eatin cupcakes?" Crumbs fell from his mouth as he smiled nervously.

Zim narrowed his eyes. "Get. Out."

Dib shook his head.

"Fine. Have it your way, human." He shrugged and easily grabbed Dib and threw him out of the gas tank. "Why are you hiding on my ship?"

Dib pushed himself up. "I…um…you see…it's kinda complicated…"

Zim tapped his foot impatiently with his claws on his hips. "Explain yourself, worm baby!"

"I can't let you leave!" Dib blurted out. He slapped his hands onto his mouth. "Oops…"

Zim just stared.

And stared.

And stared.

And stared some more.


	5. FILL UP THE GAS YOU MORONS!

Chapter five

"_What did you just say, human?"_ Zim whispered.

Dib shifted. "Um…that you can't go."

They were both silent in the windy afternoon of spring. No cars passed by and even Gir was silent for once.

Suddenly Zim started furiously shaking his head. "No…No it can't be! Not so soon!" he started pacing back and forth in front of Dib, frantically moving his hands in unknown gestures. "I thought I'd have more time…no, he can't know. His feelings must be jumbled because of the Change. Oh, Great Irk, what am I going to do?"

Dib stared at the short alien in front of him who looked very nervous…and what was that that just flashes in his eyes? Fear? Impossible…but still… "Zim?"

Zim halted and turned to Dib. He looked his usual arrogant, obnoxious self. "What?

"W-who are you talking to and what are you talking about? What Change?"

"Nothing, Dib-thing. I am talking to nothing and about nothing!" Zim exclaimed. "NOW! You must go back to your pathetic home and your pathetic life and leave me to my pathetic ship!"

Dib's eyebrows went up.

"Yes, yes, I know." Zim waved his hand impatiently. "Zim does realize that I just called my ship pathetic. Now, run along back."

Dib shook his head no. "Nope, sorry to break it to you Zim but I'm going on that ship one way or another."

"No, human!"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"TACOS!" Gir screamed randomly.

Both glared at him.

Zim thought and then shrugged. "Fine, Dib-worm, you can come, but do not say I never warned you! I AM ZIIIIIIM!" He sprang into the ship and grabbed Gir. Dib jumped in on the passenger's seat. "WOW!" he exclaimed in awe.

"Yes, yes, Zim knows you are impressed at my race's technology compared to your pitiful _computers and TellyVision_."

"TellyVision? It's television, smart one." Dib said.

"Yes, I am the SMART ONE! YOU FINALLY ADMIT IT!" Zim yelled triumphantly.

Dib groaned and put his head in his hands. "It's called sarcasm."

"WHAT? What is this 'Sary Casm' you speak of?" Zim asked.

"Just start the damn ship, Zim."

Zim started pushing the buttons again and once again the ship started vibrating.

"YES!" Zim shouted. "WE ARE OFF!"

It vibrated…the humming got louder…and louder...AND THEN!

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF IRK IS WRONG WITH THIS THING?" Zim slapped the steering wheel as the ship failed to take off.

They wondered and wondered.

Thought and thought.

They didn't realize that they were still out of gas.

That's the end, sorry it was short, but I wanted to get on to chapter six because that's when things start happening!

Random person: What kinda things?

Me: I don't know.

RP: TELL ME!

Me: NO! *starts hitting guy over the head with a very thick stick*

**R&R!**


	6. Conversation in the Exosphere

Chapter six

**Thanks to all of you who have reviewed! Oh, and this is not going to be a ZADR. At the very most a little ZADF but THAT'S IT! Anyway…yeah. That's pretty much it…why are you still up here? Look down…a little more…good! **

**Enjoy.**

"This is taking too long!" Dib complained for the 10th time since the ship FINALLY took off.

"Human, it's been 20 minutes. We are still in your pathetic atmosphere." Dib was getting on Zim's last nerve. It was one thing to have Gir alone. He could deal with that. It was also another thing to have the Dib alone. That would also have been bearable. But it was a whole other concept (and not one he particularly found enjoyable) to have BOTH of them in the little claustrophobic space of his ship.

"It feels like forever! And we have Six more months of this?" Dib groaned.

Zim shrugged. "Do not say Zim didn't warn you." Then, Zim's voice got eerily low. "The only one you can blame is yourself, human." His words seemed to have another meaning to them, besides coming in the ship.

An ominous chill crept itself up Dib's spin and he shivered. Must've been the temperature dropping, he thought. He tried to forget what Zim had said but he couldn't. The words were still in Dib's head by the time they exited the Mesosphere and shot into the Exosphere. (They were going really fast.)

"Mastah?" Gir interrupted the silence that had settled.

"What, Gir?"

"When you gonna tell the big-headed boy?" Gir asked.

Zim whipped his head around and he glared at the SIR unit. "Silence, Gir!"

Dib looked from Zim, to Gir, and back. "Tell the big-headed boy what?"

"Nothing important, Dib-stink." Zim turned back to the controls. "Although some of us need to know when to keep our mouth's shut!"

Gir smiled. "That me!"

Dib was persistent, though. "Tell me what? What are you hiding from me?"

"Plenty of things, Earthling. Too many to count." Zim answered.

"No, I mean what was Gir saying?"

"Can't you just drop it, human?" Zim sounded defensive all of a sudden.

"No, because it involves me."

"Stupid human, always sticking his weird nose into stuff." Zim muttered.

Dib's eyes narrowed. "That's mean."

Zim froze. "What is mean, Dib?"

"What you just said." Dib said, confused.

Zim slowly turned to face Dib and Dib noticed how his ruby eyes were wide. "Tell me what I just said."

"Okay…you said 'Stupid human, always sticking his weird nose into stuff.' Now I don't know much about your planet but on Earth we consider that an insult." Dib put his hands on his hips. "Why did you want me to repeat that?"

But Zim wasn't listening. He was staring at Dib and his hands were shaking. "It can't be…"

"What can't be?" Dib's eyebrow furrowed.

Zim once again ignored him. He paced around the ship with his hands behind his back. "Oh, My Tallests, what have you done? How is this possible? It is true then…he understood but how? He is human! But not entirely…"

Dib had stood, watching the whole scene but now he reached out and stopped Zim. Zim glanced at him in shock, as if he'd forgotten that Dib was there. "Zim? What's going on? What do you mean, 'not entirely'?"

Something flickered in the depths of those ruby eyes. Fear? Uncertainty? But it was gone so quickly that Dib thought he must have imagined it. That still didn't answer the question.

"What is it Zim?" Dib repeated, now shaking the small alien by his shoulders.

Zim was like a statue, frozen and unable to move. Twice he opened his mouth to say something to explain anything, but twice he couldn't find the words. Finally, Zim opened his mouth again and his voice was hoarse, as if he hadn't spoken for months, when he croaked, "Dib…You shouldn't have understood what I had said."

"What? Why?" Dib murmured.

Zim shook his head and tried to speak. Dib was getting frustrated.

"WHY?" he practically shouted.

"Because...what I had said was in the Irken language."

DUN, DUN, DUN! Lol R&R!


	7. This can hardly be called a chapter

If you know a unit of SIR

A grayish robot by the name of Gir

And if some characters can be quite dim

You must live in the world of Invader Zim.

With green aliens from planet Irk

Teachers who are really jerks

Smarta** sisters straight from hell

Does this all maybe ring a bell?

A little kid who Zim calls 'Dib-thing'

A sister who really hates her sibling

A boy with eyes of golden brown

And Zim really wants to bring him down.

Two Irken Tallests of Purple and Red

Who may be a little slow in their heads

For all they care about are snacks

And maybe some about their PAKS.

Dib constantly tries hard to expose Zim

But nobody cares enough to hear him

Gaz could honestly care less

Wow, who would've ever guessed?

Well, that's pretty much what you need to know

Want to learn more, watch the show

I was bored so I made this rhyme

But I see we're out of time.

But remember, those who read

Listen now, and please do heed

You can read but please review

For you will get a big thank you.

I was utterly bored when I wrote this and I just figured I would put it in this story. Don't ask why. This is not _near_ as good as my others but...aw well. Anyway, like I said in my poem please review because then I will give you a big hug and a thank you!

~SC


	8. Lying about the truth

Chapter eight

All was silent in the ship. Not that awkward silence you get when your out on a first date and you find out you and your date have NOTHING in common, not that comfortable silence you get when you DO have stuff in common. Oh no. This Silence was a mixture between shock, disbelief, bewilderment and more shock. So, technically this silence was pretty much all shock.

All Dib could do was stare. Inside his head, it was completely the opposite. Thoughts were jumbled, no coherent thought could be processed, and words kept appearing. _The Irken language…Irken…language…HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?_

It's not! A voice screamed in his head. It can't be true! It's utterly impossible!

But what was that that Zim had said? Not entirely human? What did that mean? What did this entire thing mean? Questions. Questions. That was all that was in Dib's head right then, dozens of questions and no answers.

"W-what? How?" Dib stammered, desperately trying to say something.

Zim looked at him. Dib thought he looked…sympathetic? WTF? Zim NEVER looked sympathetic for anything, least of all Dib! Except for maybe his planet and his own self. Now this was the only thing going through Dib's brain: WTF?

Dib shook his head. "What is going on?"

"I…" Zim hesitated. "I don't know." He finally said. Dib wasn't convinced.

"If you don't know, then what was all that mumbo-jumbo crap you were muttering to yourself earlier? What do you mean, 'Not entirely human'? Why did I understand you? What change? Why won't you tell me? WHAT IS HAPPENING?" Dib cried, all but pulling his hair out of his big head.

Zim didn't seem fazed. "I do not know. All I know I know is that something is happening to you."

"No dip, Sherlock." Dib replied sarcastically. "UGH!"

Zim desperately wanted to tell Dib. Oh how he wished he could. But he couldn't. if he did it would just destroy Dib. Dib would become a research project on Irk. Nobody knew of him except Zim and his Tallests. Nobody COULD know. But now Dib was beginning to figure it out by himself…this was not good. Not good at all.

While he had been thinking, Dib had been ranting on and on with his useless questions. Didn't he know it wasn't going to get him anywhere?

_Humans are so foolish sometimes. _Zim thought.

Suddenly Dib spun around and pointed a finger at Zim. "What's your reason for leaving Earth? Don't give me that crap about 'Oh, you don't need to know', okay? What is your real reason for leaving, Zim?"

"Like Zim would tell you?"

Dib stuck his face in front of Zim's and Zim felt the human's hot, disgusting breath wash over him. "You will if you know what's good for you!"

Zim's eyes narrowed into slits. "Is that a threat? Are you threatening me, the Almighty Invader Zim?"

Dib sneered, "Yeah, I'm threatening you! What are you going to do about it?"

Zim's claw twitched, desperately wanting to strangle this worm baby. He forced his anger down. He couldn't snap. He would not lose his temper. He couldn't risk having Dib maimed or even killed before they got to Irk. Grinding his teeth he made his voice calm and physically had to force his hand from moving and crushing the life from the pathetic earthling that stood in front of him now.

"Dib. I cannot tell you." Zim murmured.

Dib was flabbergasted for a second before he focused again on Zim. "You can't or you won't?"

"Both."

Dib grit his teeth together. "Fine. Don't tell me. I'll find out soon enough. But you were lucky. You stupid SIR unit wasn't here to protect you."

They were both silent. Gir wasn't in the ship?

Well, then, where was he?


	9. Recruiting a SIR

Chapter nine

Zim and Dib looked everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Every inch, every crevice, but they found nothing. No Gir.

"Where the heck could he have gone? He was here like three seconds ago!" Dib exclaimed in disbelief. Even Zim seemed bewildered.

"Gir?" he called out. No 'TACOS!' no '…Yeees mastah?' and, obviously, no robot. " GIR! I command you to come here this instant!" Zim yelled. He waited but still he and Dib were alone. "This is very strange. If Gir were within 2,000 miles of me, he would have responded. But if he doesn't respond then that means that he's nowhere near us."

Dib looked out the window but all he saw was stars. "So…you mean he's back on Earth?"

Zim shook his head. "No. This means that he is in a whole other galaxy completely." He looked at Dib.

Dib looked back.

"Irk." They said together, almost as if reading each other's thoughts…

Irk: The Massive

Footsteps sounded down the long corridor that led to the main room. To figures walked together, silhouetted against the pale pink sky that turned that color when night had fallen. The sky never changed much. Red in the day, pink in the evening.

"The human is beginning to learn what he is." One of the two said.

"Maybe it is for the best. If he knows and we can persuade him, then we might be able to get him on our side of the war." The other responded.

The first cocked its head slightly to the side in thought. "Your idea might work if that pitiful excuse of an Invader hadn't interfered and nearly destroyed the whole plan!"

The second touched his friend's arm reassuringly. "No need to get worked up." He soothed.

His words were smooth like water over rocks in a stream. The first relaxed slightly. "The only fortunate thing that came from it is that Zim didn't blow the whole thing out of proportion. In fact…I guess you could say he made it more fun. I tend to like challenges, you know."

The other smiled but it was cold and hard, like his purple eyes. "Oh, I know Red."

They walked in silence for a few minutes until an Irken guard called to them from behind.

"My Tallests! My Tallests!"

Red sighed and turned. "What is it?"

The guard was short of breath so when he finally reached the two, he had to bend over and gasp to catch his breath.

Purple rolled his eyes. "Well, hurry up and get on with it! The days aren't getting any longer, are they?"

"My…Tallests…they have captured the SIR as you commanded." The guard gasped.

Red stood straighter and his spirits lifted. "Good. Take us to it."

The guard nodded and led his Tallests back the way he'd come. They went past the Healing unit where Red winked at a pretty blue-eyed Healer who giggled and looked away, past the Training Arena, turned left right before the Smeet room, and then continued down a dark hallway.

Purple grumbled. "It's times like these that I hate how big our ship is."

Red glanced at his friend and smiled. "Cheer up, Pur. This is an exciting time. We've captured the Sir and everything is going as planned. Soon we'll start doing the…well, you know what I'm talking about."

Purple nodded. _The battle_. He thought to himself. That brought a grim smile to his lips. Oh, the battle. Blood, gore, tears, more blood (did I mention blood?), killing, and, oh yeah, blood!

Finally, FINALLY they entered a small, windowless room. In the middle hung a pale gray robot that was attached to dozens of wires that stopped him from defending himself and deactivated his weapons.

"Leave us." Red commanded and the Guard whisked out of the room.

"Well, well, well." Purple stated, taking a couple steps closer to the SIR. "My, it's been a while hasn't it, since we last met? How are you doing Gir?"

Gir's blue eye lifted and there was a flash of recognition in them. "Mastah's Tallests! Zim's been lookin' everywhere for yous! He need help! That big-headed boy know stuffs he isn't 'apposed to know!"

Red stepped forward out of the shadows. "Yes, we know Gir. That's why we need your help."

Gir tilted his head. "For wha?"

Red and Purple glanced at each other, there eyes meeting. Red nodded. Purple turned back to Gir.

"Gir…we need you to destroy the big-headed boy."

Gir looked at the Tallest Purple. He shook his tiny head. "No, Big-headed boy alright! He meh friend!"

"No Gir." Red argued. "He's not. He is a threat to the whole planet of Irk...and to your master." Of course that was a lie. No one but them two even KNEW about Dib on Irk.

Gir's eyes widened. "Me mastah in danger?"

Purple nodded, his face serious. "Oh yes, that's why we need your help. So…? What do you say?"

Gir thought.

And thought.

Finally he spoke. "Okay. I'll help yous to protect Irk and meh mastah."

Red and Purple grinned at each other.

"Great!" Red began. "Now, this is what we need you to do…"


	10. Arguments in the godforsaken ship

Chapter ten

"Where _is_ he, Dib-stink?"

"I don't freaking know! If I did, don't you think I woulda told you by now? What do I gain by stealing your dumb robot, or throwing him off the ship without you noticing?"

"Tell me where he is or for the love of Irk, I will blow you up right now and throw your ashes out of my ship. Now, where is he?" Zim pointed his laser ray gun at the human in front of him.

Dib put his face in his hands. "I. Don't. Know! Why do you care so much about him, anyway? I would've thought you'd have been happy to know Gir was gone."

Zim's eyes narrowed. "Under normal circumstances, yes, I would be glad and very, very happy to know Gir was gone. But are these normal circumstances, Dib-thing? You're in my ship, in the middle of your planet's horrible atmosphere, on the way to my home planet, learning about things neither of us should know, babbling like idiots about a missing robot! Does any of that seem normal to you?" Zim was about to explode if he didn't get an answer.

Dib only blinked. Blinked. BLINKED!

Zim growled, "We are on the verge of the discovery of a devastating secret, in the middle of space, and all you do is _blink?_"

Dib shook his head. "You make no sense sometimes Zim. Like you said, we're in the middle of space. Where could he possibly have gone? Besides Irk of course, but that's just a guess."

Now it was Zim's turn to blink. When he spoke his voice was threateningly quiet and dangerously cold and hard. "We need to figure out where he is, human. If our suspicions are correct and Gir is on Irk, then our time is very limited. You have no idea how _crucial _it is to find my SIR. If my Tallests are the ones behind all this, as I am almost positive they are, then they will use every force they can get to be on their side and help support them. They will _brainwash _everyone and every_thing_ that

They can get their filthy claws on. They are cold-hearted cowards, Earthling. You have no understanding of what they are capable of if they get enough support. So, trust me when I say we HAVE to find my SIR."

Dib stared, flabbergasted, at this statement. "But…wait, what? If they are manipulating people-aliens, whatever- then why is no one stopping them?"

"Because, Dib, no one else knows about their evil scheme except you, me, them, and maybe some close Irkens on the Massive."

"But…but then we have to do something!" Dib exclaimed.

Zim rolled his ruby eyes. "How is it you humans say it? Oh, yes: DUH! What do you think Zim is doing? That is the reason Zim is leaving, puny Dib-human."

Dib shook his head. "No, you have to do something more!"

Zim snorted, a glint of amusement in his eyes. "And how do you suppose we do that, earthling? Go up against the mighty Tallests without any Armada to back us up? What, did you think we were just going to barge in there and yell at them to stop and they will?"

Dib shifted and looked at the floor. "Well…yeah."

Zim stared at Dib in disbelief. "I always knew you humans were foolish, but that is just beyond stupidity, Dib-thing!"

"Hey! No need to be mean."

Zim shrugged and flopped down onto the chair in front of the controls. He sighed, weary. "Who are we kidding? We won't be able to defeat my Tallests even if we did have backup."

Dib looked at Zim. "I know this probably isn't the time, but what is this all about? And how do I come into it? And why can I understand you when you talk all alien-y?"

Zim looked thoughtfully at Dib. "You really don't know, do you? I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet, Dib-monkey."

"Figured WHAT out?" Dib cried in exasperation.

"Foolish human. Well, I suppose you wouldn't be all human would you, seeing as we are now brothers?"

Dib stared, shocked. "W-what?"

"Well, half-brothers actually." Zim amended, oblivious to Dib whose face had been drained of color.

"What do you mean, _Half brothers?" _Dib demanded, his face ashen. "I'm a freaking HUMAN and you're a freaking ALIEN! HOW DOEA THAT AD UP?"

Zim smiled wanly. "Now, now no need to get upset."

Dib snapped. "NO need to get upset? YOU JUST TELL ME WE'RE RELATED WITHOUT EVEN ELABORATING ON THE SUBJECT, WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF SPACE ON THIS GOD-FORSAKEN SHIP TALKING ABOUT THE TALLESTS AND HOW THEY HAVE SOME UNKNOWN REASON TO DECLARE WAR ON THE ENTIRE IRKEN EMPIRE AND YOU TELL ME NOT TO GET UPSET? _WHAT THE HELL, ZIM?_" Dib was breathing heavily after his rant while Zim just watched calmly.

"Done?" the alien asked. "Because if you are, I will tell you what you want to know. If you still want to, that is." Zim half-smiled.

Dib scowled and flopped down onto another chair across from Zim. "Tell me, space-scum, before I beat the shit out of you."

Zim's smile faded and he looked serious now. "Okay. Long ago, before you were made, before I was made, the Tallests had some type of vision about the world…"


End file.
